I think am crazy
by Allison.St
Summary: Gray feels insecure sometimes. He feels like he is just a background character While his friends are always the heroes. after an incident, he starts to see and hear things that no one else sees. He feels like he is crazy and tries to hide it cause he is scared that everyone will look down on him. But what if he can't handle the strange illusions and visions alone?
1. What happend to me?

English is not my language so beware of spelling and grammar mistakes. I do hope you my story a chance you enjoy it. I think this will mostly be about friendship but there is a change it becomes yaoi, later on, I have no idea. When I write something I have no control over the story thigs just happen while I write them XD

Every day is the same act, no one sees it not even him. It's like this thing that's always there and you don't even notice it until something makes you feel it again. And then it comes at you like a hurricane. Gray didn't wanna feel it so he denied it to himself and to the world he battled this feeling every day. but the thing with denial is that it never works out.

Team Natsu was ready to go on another mission everyone was meeting up at the train station. it was a pretty easy one save a beautiful rich girl who was kidnapped by someone who wanted to trade her for ransom. The father asked to save her so he could keep his money. The pay was pretty low but Lucy really needed to pay her rent en there was no other option then this job.

Gray's Pov

after a 6 hour ride on the train, we stayed in a hotel. we all shared a big room to keep it cheap. Lucy wanted a room for herself, She wanted privacy and she couldn't stop complaining. But Erza made it pretty clear that the mission would be useless if we spend just as much money on the hotel than we would get paid. And after that, her complaining finally stopped. The girl's father came to us to explain the mission, But truth be told I was so bored of by the mission I didn't even listen, In the end, Natsu or Erza will save the day anyway. That's how it goes they beat the big bad guys. I beat some random guy in the background.,

It took me 3 seconds to realize what I was thinking, was I jealous? Hell no I wasn't I was just in a bad mood nothing more than that. I'm strong and I'm a fairy tail wizard I shouldn't compare myself to them. "Gray" Erza shouted. I looked around, everyone's eyes were staring at me, it was just the team now. The girl's father had already left while I was daydreaming. "Do you have any idea what I was just saying" "sorry I was out of it" I answered.

"Well if you're not in the mood to listen maybe you should just leave, we can handle the mission without you," Erza said angrily "Sorry it won't happen again." "No, it won't cause your out of this mission go home" Well that was something I didn't expect. I know Erza could be strict but normally she would just yell at me not kick me out. "I said go, Gray, next time you go on a mission with us take it seriously." She was clear I left with no words. I felt like a little child who just got punished by his parent, I hated that feeling. I knew Erza was probably in a bad mood I could see it in her eyes it was nothing personal, but I took it personally.

Erza's Po

The moment Gray left and closed the door I knew I overreacted. I wanted to run after him and apologize and ask him the reason why he dozed of like that. But It was too late. "Erza, I think you were too hard on him," Natsu said. "I know I will apologize when we're back" I didn't understand why I just did that. I was planning on asking him if he was okay but different words came out of my mouth. While I was on the train I heard rumors about Jellal and me, About our past, they awoke some anger in me and without realizing it took it out on Gray.

normal pov

Trains were silent for once, when you're all on your own it's pretty easy to fall asleep on them. Gray figured that out when he slept through almost the whole train ride. He woke up 20 minutes before he arrived. It was a good that he slept through the train ride. Instead of thinking too much about what just happened he had a good dream where nothing ever happened. He dreamed of a different world, One where he wasn't at Fairy tail but with his other family. His real family, And they where happy. In this world, his family saw him grow up and they were able to see how strong he became but more importantly, they were able to see the person that would do anything to protect those he loves. The only missing thing there was Fairy tail. Accept that, the dream was perfect.

When Gray got out of the train he had 2 options. Go home think too much and feel hurt and mad or get a drink and probably still feel hurt and mad but there would be alcohol and a little distraction. Yes, option 2 was much better. He stopped by at the first cafe he found and decided to start with a whiskey. He stayed there and drank all night the incident with Erza was already out of his mind.

The next morning Gray woke up with the biggest headache ever. Normally after a night of drinking The drunk guy mostly ends up in bed with a stranger. But not in this case, Gray was on the ground, And the headache wasn't just a hangover. There was a big cut on the right side of his head it started on his forehead and stopped somewhere under his hair, his hair covered half of the cut but you could see it perfectly because of the crimson color that had painted a part of his hair. "what the hell did I do?"

Gray tried to stand but failed when he felt a huge pain in his hips. while he hit the ground he noticed that he had more injuries than the one on his head.

He felt bad something happened last night and he couldn't remember what it was. This was bad how was he going to get home if he couldn't even stand. He decided to try again. he couldn't stand the pain but he needed to be strong and walk cause it was that, our stay there.

After very long and painful walk Gray arrived home and dropped himself on the couth. He was broken literally he wondered if he could ever walk normal again cause he felt like he couldn't he felt sick like he needed to throw up. "Was that the alcohol of last night or his head he thought?" he looked at his hands and noticed that there where a few nails missing. "What the hell is going on" He tried to take his shirt off. It wasn't an easy job with these injuries So he just lifted it so he could see his stomach and his chest. There were bruises and cuts everywhere. he needed to know what he did to get those. cause this was getting scary. he felt sick again so he crawled to the bathroom (he wasn't going to stand with those injuries if it wasn't required) And started to throw up. Okay, this is not a hangover this is my head Gray thought.

He tried to stand up and look in the mirror that hangs on the wall in his bathroom. He was pale like a dead body He noticed that his that there was some skin ripped off his chin, it also bled, not as heavy as his forehead but it probably needed a bandage. he knew that he needed to get checked His injuries could be serious. But He was too injured to make it to Fairy tail it was a miracle he made it home without collapsing and he couldn't contact anyone either. So was he supposed to wait or scream for help, He decided to just go to his room and lie down maybe he could walk after some rest.

Hours later he woke up feeling even worse than before, The light of the sun that shined through the window felt like a laser that set his brain on fire. He closed the curtains and the dark made his headache a little better. It was then that he noticed something, there was a strange noise in his house it sounded like crying. Was someone crying in his house? Was Juvia stalking him in some sort of strange way again? "Juvia?" He tried to follow the sound but it came from every direction. The sound was getting louder and louder. But Gray couldn't see a thing "Juvia is that you?" after a few seconds The sound waves became so loud that he had to cover his ears. "God what the hell is this" The volume kept on getting higher until his windows broke and Gray fainted.

After the other 3 Team Natsu members finished their mission Erza ran to the guild in the hope of being able to apologize to Gray. She opened the doors from the guild and walked over to Mira and Cana who were standing at the bar. "Is Gray here?" the redhead asked, "Wasnt he with you on a mission?" "Yes, but we got into too a fight" "You and Gray? that's not normal, what happened?" Cana said while she was holding a bottle of beer and took a sip from it. "I'll tell later I need to fix this first" Erza left and decided to check his house.

The first thing She noticed when she arrived was a trail of blood. Without even thinking she ran and broke through his door. "Gray!" there was no reply she looked around his house and found him out cold near his room. She held him in her arms and tried to wake him up "Gray" He slowly opened his eyes. "What happened to you? You're really injured" "I don't know." he stuttered "Where...is the woman that broke the windows..." "What are saying?" "she used some sound magic to break the windows" "Gray, your windows aren't broken what are you saying?" "whatt.." he tried to say. Gray wanted to look to see if it was true but before he couldn't do that, he fainted.

Erza ran into the guild "Help find Wendy and bring her to the infirmary" Lucy and some other members Immediately went out to search for Wendy when the saw Erza with an unconscious Gray leaning on her. Natsu helpt the red and together they carry ice mage into the infirmary. "Who the hell did this to him Erza? How did he got so injured?

" the pink-haired man said. "I don't know" she replied silently

Thanks for reading I have no idea where I'm going with this. But I guess I will see that later XD.


	2. the importance of silence

Gray opened his eyes only to see nothing. He was lying on a bed with bandages all over his body. The pain that his injuries had caused was a bit better than before. "Where am I?" Gray thought

He tried to remember what the last thing was that he did." The sound of someone singing and his windows and then what happened then, Erza found him that's it, He must be in the infirmary. He heard footsteps coming closer and closer someone was coming in. The door opened and Gray who was curious lifted his head to see who it was. "Hey take it easy and don't move your head to mutch" "Natsu?" "Yea it's me looks like your head still works" Natsu smiled gently and took a chair and placed it next to the bed "Why are the lights out," The ice mage said.

"You have a concussion, you have to stay in a darkroom for a while" The fire mage explained. "Who the hell did this to you, Gray?" Gray looked with a confused look "I don't know, I can't remember" "Apparently that's normal with a head injury like yours. What's the last thing you do remember?" "I woke up like this somewhere in the woods, I crawled home to sleep it off but strange things happened" "I heard from Erza that were saying weird stuff before you fainted but it didn't make sense you said your windows broke but there fine" "It must have been the concussion" Gray replied " Probably" Natsu tried to think he wanted to know who did it it wasn't like he cared about Gray our anything but hurt a fairy tail member and you will pay. He definitely didn't care, okay maybe a little he admitted to himself. Maybe he did care a lot but it was normal Gray was like his brother.

"And before that, what were you doing do you remember that?" Natsu asked concerned "Drinking in a cafe" Gray replied "Which cafe" "The one near the train station" Natsu stood up "Go rest you need it" and he ran off. He was probably going to the cafe to find answers. Gray wanted to go to but he wasn't really in the condition for it. He felt weak and he didn't like it all that Natsu or anyone saw him like that

Nastu walked into the Cafe where Gray had been the night he got hurt but it was nothing more than an empty Cafe. nothing looked suspicious. Nastu wondered whenever Gray got hurt there our after.

There was a woman standing behind the bar.

She greeted him with a smile and asked him what he wanted to drink. He ordered lemonade she had blonde hair like Lucy and beautiful blue eyes. Her lips where pink and she couldn't stop smiling. She looked completely innocent. But Natsu questioned her anyway maybe her looks where deceiving our maybe she knew something. "my friend was here last night and after that, he got hurt really badly. I wanna know what happened did you see anything? He has da... " "Dark raven hair and blue eyes. " She cut him off.

"Do you know what happened?" Natsu asked angerly. "No... But I saw him last night. And I think I could have stopped it I'm sorry" the blonde said while she was trembling. "What do you mean?" "Yesterday he got sick out of nowhere, it was strange he looked totally out of it some guy came and said he knew him and help him get home. " "What did he look like?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry I thought it was weird but I didn't react to it" "Thanks for the information."

Natsu left the Cafe he was thinking about what could have happened. The ice mage was probably drugged that would explain getting sick out of nowhere and memory loss. The man who took him must have been the one who did it. But what now? He was at a dead end with this case

Gray tried to stand his injuries were a little better know. His head was still killing him. But that's probably Normal for a concussion. "Gray" a voice whispered behind him. He thought it was someone from the guild and turned around in a reflex but fell on the ground because of his injuries. He raised his head to see who called out his name only to see no one. The sound of singing started again and just like before it got louder and louder.

It's you again" Gray said "leave me alone" but the sound just got louder and louder his head was about to explode. And just like the first time he passed out."

Everything was dark it was like he was in a black hole. Gray looked around to see where he was. He realized he was unconscious. Kinda weird to dream and know it's just all an illusion but yet at the same time a dream never felt so real before in his life. "Gray" a voice kept on shouting out his name. But this time it was a male voice.

Don't ignore the sound don't try to turn it out but listen. And in a flash, the dream was over and his eyes opened. The first thing he realized is that he was on the bed again. Someone must have found him unconscious. When he turned to the left he saw Natsu sitting next to his bed. "So you finally woke up?" He said with a smile. "Finally? How long was I out" "2 years," the fire mage said. Gray frowned "And in 2 years no one changed to blankets in the bed? God they must stink" Gray said with a smile. "Okay 2 days the fire mage said with a smile". 2 days looked more like it but it was still very long his strange dream only lasted for like 5 seconds.

"can't believe I was out for 2 days..." the ice mage said. " Hey, Gray do you really not remember a thing of that night?" Gray looked confused at Natsu "No I'm sorry, there is a black hole in my memory" "I went to the Cafe to find out something, you got sick all of the sudden and someone left with you who apparently pretend you where friends. Maybe you were drugged." "who would drink me to beat me up when I'm unconscious?" the ice mage answered. "that takes al the fun of beating someone up away" Natsu stared and thought "Maybe it was someone weak, with no magic our someone who thought you were too strong." "maybe," Gray said while he put his hand on his head his headache was killing him. "You okay,?" Natsu said. "yeah I just need some sleep"

Natsu frowned "you just slept for 2 days". "It's normal for him to be tired right now" Erza interrupted "How are you feeling Gray?" "fine just tired and a headache" "Good anything else? The Scarlet haired mage replied. For just a second Gray thought of mentioning the voices and the strange dream. But they probably felt enough pity for him already so he decided to stay silent."Well you should rest" Erza said while she dragged Natsu out of the room with her

A few weeks past even though Team Natsu and other Fairy tail members had tried, nobody even got close to knowing what happened that night. And after Gray healed and started walking around like normally finding out became less important. And things got back to normal. But not for Gray he thought he was going mad. Because of something he didn't even know that he needed to have. Silence. The voices they followed him everywhere. There was no rest at all and when he finally had a small piece of silence he saw something that just couldn't be real. He looked fine, he looked like the old Gray but he was about to explode on the inside


	3. How can a beautiful day be so cruel ?

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining brightly. It was warm but not to warm and the wind was blowing very peacefully. It was like the world was shining at the people and told them to enjoy life for a day. And the Fairy tail mages did that. Nobody went on a mission. Erza wanted to have a picknick and made her whole team tag along. they were sitting right under a big tree by the river. And even Gray who's peace had been gone for a long while was enjoying it. It had been a while since he was able to rest without the voices in his head making him literally crazy.

The last weeks were pretty bad. He was wondering whenever he was haunted or not. The picknick they where having existed out of one strawberry cake. Erza gave one slice to everyone and told them to share it fairly and of course, the rest of the cake was all hers. After his very small piece of strawberry cake, the ice-mage decided to lay down and close his eyes for a second. In the last few weeks sleep wasn't really an option so he decided to use his very short moment of peace and he closed his eyes. And in only a moment he fell as sleep.

But too bad that sleep wasn't peace. Because he was there again in the black world with the male voice telling him the exact same words again. "Don't ignore the sound don't try to turn it out but listen" "Don't ignore the sound don't try to turn it out but listen" "Listen" Gray looked around him to him if he could place a face with this voice but he saw nothing except the darkness of the black world. "Leave me alone" The raven haired mage yelled and with that his dream ended and his eyes stormed open in fear.

"Gray?" Natsu said with a worried tone. "Where are you having a nightmare?" Gray looked around to see the worried looks of his whole team. "Sorry, It was just a nightmare." "Its okay you don't have to apologize, You just shocked us," Erza said Gray smiled "Yea I don't even remember what it was about so it was really nothing" The ice mage lied. "I need to buy food for dinner tonight" Lucy interrupted. She smiled as she waved us goodbye. Erza said that the boys should stay in until the sunset so they could all watch it together. But she ended being mad Because Her beautiful sunset was ruined By Natsu's and Gray's arguing.

After Erza beat up the two boys She and Natsu left to the guild. But Gray decided to go home instead. He thought of what the voice in his dream said and decided to listen to what the voiced said. Maybe then it would finally stop. And when he almost arrived home he heard it again. It was the exact same voice he heard the first time in his house. The sound of someone Crying. But even when he tried to listen there was no useful information to hear. He remembered his window breaking down last time so he ran to his window to see if maybe he could hear more if he was there. He stood by his Window and tried to hear whatever it was that he needed to hear to make it stop. He put his hand on the window in the hope that that would do it and finally together with the Crying He heard another voice. This time a male voice but it wasn't talking to him "We should call 911 Don't worry honey you be fine they will save you, I won't let you die"

Was someone in danger? Was that it? But where ? Where did he need to go to help them. "Common Gray concentrate you can figure this out someone can die if you don't figure this out." He told himself and as he tried to concentrate he saw images flashing through his head he saw a green house with broken windows and hearts painted on the walls. He knew that place it was a house near the woods it was 30 minutes from here. He walked past it a million times already. He ran there. Maybe he was going Crazy But maybe he could save a life today. Maybe he would finally feel useful.

He didn't know how long it took him. But he arrived there and saw the house with the windows broken and walked it in the hope of saving those people of whatever it was that had hurt them.

Maybe he should have told Wendy so she could heal them but he was so busy trying to figure out what the hell was going on that he completely forgot those people would need healing as soon as possible. And he finally arrived inside Only to find two dead body's A man probably a father and a small girl in his arms. The whole room was filled with blood. And the windows where shattered. The glass was spread over the whole room. And bullets could be found on the floor.

The blood was fresh. and there were still tears on the girl's cheeks. It looked like they were both shot more than once they both had a huge head injury too. Whoever did this Had shown no mercy? This wasn't just a normal murder this was more then just cruel. Only a monster could have done such a thing. The person who did this enjoyed every second of it. Gray used his lacrima to call 9111 when they arrived he told them he heard the sound of gun shot's and came to see what was going on. They believed him and even gave the ie mage a ride home.

The ride home was silent. The women from 9111 noticed the sad looks of the ice mage. "You could have stopped it, you don't have to feel guilty." Gray looked her in the eye"Maybe if I arrived a little sooner they would have been alive." The mage said with a sad tone. "You couldn't have known earlier, so how could you have been there earlier, It's okay to be sad what you just saw was horrible. But don't feel responsible" She stopped the car. "This is your house, right?" Gray nodded and left the car "Thanks for the ride home he said."

"you welcome, And don't take it to personal you can't save every life."

Gray walked into his home. He was broken. 2 perfect lives were lost today. How could such a beautiful day be so cruel. He started hitting his wall while cruising out every bad word he could think of and when his energy was finally gone. He kneeled down in front of the wall and started crying. Why couldn't he save them? If stopped trying to fight these voices sooner maybe he would have found those two people before they where dead.

And what was this? What the hell was going on. If he had some kind of new superpower they should just give it to Erza or Natsu at least they would have saved the people he thought. Gray didn't stop crying that night even in his sleep the tears kept on falling. Guilt was a strong feeling. Of course, he didn't need to feel guilty. Who the hell would have figured out what to do in his situation. Most people wouldn't even have found the bodies. But yet the ice mage felt responsible. But at least he thought that after tonight the voices would despair but that thought was far from right.


End file.
